Three Enticing Ways to Improve Communication and Intimacy,Connect with us
WebJun 25, · The word “law” may sound a bit strong, but if couples know what to expect when they communicate with their partner, they’re apt to feel safer, which is likely to WebNov 16, · How to Improve. Intimacy is a feeling of closeness and connection in an interpersonal relationship. It is an essential part of intimate relationships, but it also WebApr 16, · Physical. Physical intimacy is about touch and closeness between bodies. In a romantic relationship, it might include holding hands, cuddling, kissing, and sex. Your WebNov 1, · Conversely, a lack of intimacy and intimacy-related problems have been found to be associated with poor adaptation to stress, loneliness, psychoactive WebIntimacy in a relationship is a feeling of being close, and emotionally connected and supported. It means being able to share a whole range of thoughts, feelings and ... read more
For a relationship to really shine, the speaker must share in the responsibility of making sure the conversation goes smoothly. So how can you express yourself and your needs in a way that both honors the relationship and gives you the best chance of meeting your needs? By using what I call "the three laws of speaking. Probably one of the biggest myths perpetuated by pop psychology is the notion that it's healthy to "let all your feelings out. He wrote that unexpressed feelings can build up if not released, any eventually exert so much pressure on the dam that it breaks, flooding the entire system. Modern research has shown the flaws in this model, especially in regard to certain negative feelings.
For example, results from numerous studies show that the cathartic expression of anger only leads to increased feelings of anger. My clinical work also supports this. To put this in more practical terms, you must remember that you have a choice. Simply because you experience a feeling doesn't mean you have to express it right then and there. Imagine, for example, that checking your credit card statement online, and you're angry about something your partner bought — you think it's an extravagant purchase, and wish you'd been consulted. Given that you're angry, here's a list of some of the choices you can make:. Certainly, being emotionally shutdown is not the way to create a healthy relationship.
The key is when and how to express your feelings. In communicating with your partner, you must accept the fact that you alone are responsible for your feelings. No one can "make you mad" — you choose your reactions. Certainly, external factors can conspire to make it more likely that you'll feel one way or another. For example, if your spouse approaches you in a loud, argumentative tone, accusing you of something you didn't do, you're likely to feel somewhat self-righteous and defensive. It's up to you whether to act on these feelings or to change your thinking in such a way that other feelings can take their place.
You might know that your spouse has been under a lot of pressure lately, and your empathy might allow you to react in a completely different, much more generous manner. Ultimately, we all create our own reality. Keeping this in mind, you can polish the rough edges of your statements by prefacing them with, "I think…" Or "I feel…" This alerts your partner to the fact that you're owning your thoughts and feelings: you're making it perfectly clear that you realize that your perceptions are subjective. It's helpful when you're talking with your partner about some negative feeling or some complaint to also include positive feelings you have. For example, if you're annoyed that your partner didn't do the dishes as he promised, you could begin your conversation noting how much you appreciate the time he spends with the children in the evening.
You might also say, "I know you've been working hard all day, but I really need your help with the dishes tonight. You might start out by saying, "I know it's hard for you when I say things that sound critical…" Remember, your partner is your friend, lover, and companion: your goal is not only to communicate your feelings fully, but also as graciously as possible. In addition, speak with as much clarity as you can muster. By clarity I mean: stay in the present don't dredge up old dirt and stick with the salient points. No matter what the content, aim for self-expression to be an opportunity to strengthen the core feelings of love and affection that originally drew you together.
By following these guidelines, you'll learn to express yourself in a manner that not only shows respect for your partner, but also help you present your own needs and wishes in a way that makes your partner more willing to help and brings you closer together. The Best Advice for Any Couple. Easy Ways to Put the Magic Back in Your Relationship. Follow me on Twitter and join me on Facebook. Barbara Markway, Ph. Maybe you and your friends opened up about personal details and bonded over common interests. Your relationships with family, friends, and other trusted individuals all include elements of intimacy. Your specific idea of intimacy may be influenced by your interests, communication style, or preferred ways to get to know someone. Emotional intimacy is what allows you to tell your loved ones personal things that you might not necessarily share with strangers. Think of it as letting your guard down. As you learn that you can trust someone, you feel safe enough to let your walls down.
You build experiential intimacy by spending quality time with someone and growing closer over common interests and activities. Generally speaking, spirituality is about belief in something beyond the physical realm of existence. In order to share personal parts of yourself — like your most embarrassing secrets or your deepest fears — you have to be able to trust them. And in the same vein, every time you open up, you can grow a little bit closer. Sharing your deepest, truest self with another person can put you in a pretty vulnerable position. So, intimacy means feeling safe enough to take the risk of putting yourself out there, knowing the other person cares enough not to let you down. You know your BFF will be there for you after a bad breakup. Caring about each other is one thing, but you also build intimacy by showing that you care. Sometimes affection is in the unspoken ways you show up for each other, like when your friend spends their day off helping you move simply because they care.
When you make an effort to listen to someone and tell them how you really feel, you can build a deep understanding for each other. Mission accomplished! The more time you spend sharing experiences and feelings, the more elements you have to work with to build intimacy. You might feel some apprehension, or even fear , about building intimacy. If anyone has ever violated your trust, it can take a while to want to take a chance with them or anyone else again. It also helps your mental health , reducing your stress level as your feel-good hormones get a boost from touch like hugs and emotional release like laughter. In fact, intimacy can actually boost your immune system, lower your blood pressure, and reduce your risk for heart disease. You might avoid deep relationships or feel anxious about social situations for reasons that are unclear.
Do you isolate yourself from other people? Have low self-esteem? Have a hard time staying present during sex? Avoid letting people get to know you? Once you can spot a pattern, identifying your symptoms will give you a tangible list of what to work on. Many people find it useful to work with a therapist or other mental health professional to help guide you. For example, fear of intimacy would be an understandable response to trauma like sexual assault or childhood neglect. After abuse, we may try to protect ourselves from judgment and further harm by isolating from the rest of the world. At times we can all use some support with facing our fears. A mental health professional like a therapist can offer that. Take time to tell the other person what you appreciate about them. The key to this is listening so you can build a real understanding of what the other person cares about and why.
Plan a weekly date night, a monthly board game night, or a nightly moment to check in one-on-one before bedtime, away from the kids or other responsibilities. Spending time together without electronics can give you a chance to give each other some undivided attention. If you have a sexual relationship, then mixing things up with new toys, outfits, and fantasies can keep things from getting dull. Restore a piece of furniture, learn a new skill like baking , or teach your old dog some new tricks. Whatever the project, working toward a goal with a loved one can cultivate bonding time, make invaluable memories, and give you something new to look forward to together. Listen when they tell you the same. Building intimacy is one of the most rewarding ways to enrich your life. Give yourself permission to seek out the meaningful connections you deserve.
Our experts continually monitor the health and wellness space, and we update our articles when new information becomes available. Pillow talk is a form of intimate conversation that occurs between partners or lovers. It involves talking about things that make you feel closer, and…. Interpersonal relationships range from those with your family and friends to romantic partners and acquaintances. Maintaining good relationships is…. Intimacy vs Isolation is stage six according to Erik Erikson's model of human development. This stage spans from around age 19 to 40 and is….
Fearful avoidant attachment is a type of attachment style that a person can develop at a young age. It may make relationships difficult later in life…. Emotional dependency can take a toll on both partners in a relationship, but it's nothing a little effort and compassion can't fix. Going through a breakup can be traumatic. Similar to other traumas, like the death of a loved one, breakups can cause overwhelming, long-lasting grief.
Brittany is a health and lifestyle writer and former staffer at TODAY on NBC and CBS News. She's also contributed to dozens of magazines. Ivy Kwong, LMFT, is a psychotherapist specializing in relationships, love and intimacy, trauma and codependency, and AAPI mental health. Intimacy is a feeling of closeness and connection in an interpersonal relationship. It is an essential part of intimate relationships, but it also plays an important role in other relatinships with friends, family members, and other acquaintances. The word intimacy is derived from the Latin word "intimus," which means 'inner' or 'innermost.
Intimacy allows people to bond with each other on many levels. Therefore, it is a necessary component of healthy relationships. This article covers the different types of intimacy and how you can create more of it in your relationship. Upon hearing the word, you probably immediately jumped to thinking about physical intimacy, but other forms of intimacy are just as important, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. Let's take a look at some different forms of intimacy. While a hug or holding a hand are both examples of physical intimacy, this type is most commonly used in reference to sex. And while sex is important in relationships, you can also demonstrate physical intimacy through kissing, holding hands, cuddling, and skin-to-skin touching. While these small physical shows of affection may seem mundane, they can help you and your partner cultivate a feeling of closeness. Emotional intimacy can be one of the most critical factors of a relationship.
It is characterized by being able to share your deepest, most personal feelings with another person. When people experience this type of intimacy, they feel safe and secure enough to share and know that they will be understood, affirmed, and cared for. Examples of emotional intimacy include having conversations about what you both want in the future, talking about things that you are worried about, and discussing a stressful event at work and being comforted. This type of intimacy involves being able to share ideas, opinions, questions, and other thoughts with another person.
You might not agree on everything, but you enjoy challenging each other and are able to consider the other person's perspective. Talking about a book you have read and comparing your reactions is an example of intellectual intimacy in a relationship. While couples don't have to be joined at the hip, shared experiences are important in healthy relationships. They're also often the way that relationships begin, so experiences can even add an element of nostalgia for long-term partners. Spending time together, pursuing activities together, and participating in hobbies together are just a few ways that people can deepen this type of intimacy.
While this can be referring to religious ideas and beliefs, it can also mean something more profound, like sharing actual beliefs and values. Your values and beliefs can align with religion or even health and wellness. Regardless, it's important to share these critical aspects of your life with your partner. Examples of spiritual intimacy include participating in religious practices, discussing spiritual topics, or spending time together while marveling at a moving sight. Physical intimacy is just one type of intimacy in a relationship.
Other types include emotional, intellectual, experiential, and spiritual intimacy. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but sometimes certain obstacles can make intimacy difficult. Or a previously strong sense of intimacy might gradually fade without proper nourishment. Some problems that can impair intimacy include:. Intimacy is essential in a relationship because it forms a basis for connection and communication. It ensures that each person feels understood, allows them to be themselves, and ensures that each person gets the care and comfort that they need. Other significant effects include:. Intimacy has beneficial effects on many areas of life, including health, relationship satisfaction, sexual desire, and mental well-being.
No matter how long you have been together, it's always important to build your intimacy levels. Here are some easy, practical ways to strengthen your levels of intimacy in your relationship:. When it comes to sex, a part of intimacy is feeling safe enough with your partner to share your likes and dislikes. Make sure that you are asking for the same information from your partner. This way, you can facilitate a safe environment where you both feel comfortable sharing your deepest thoughts and desires. Remember that increasing your physical intimacy isn't always about having more sex. If you're too tired for sex or talking, try cuddling on the couch. To cultivate emotional intimacy, take time to listen to and share with your partner each day. Also, make notes of special moments or things that remind you of your partner so that you can let them know you're thinking about them. Studies have shown that self-disclosure can build feelings of intimacy in marriages , which will make your bond stronger.
A big part of intimacy is sharing your thoughts and feelings honestly and listening to your partner when they do the same. Put down the electronics, even if it's just during a meal or while you and your spouse watch a show together. Indeed, make sure to do this if your partner is talking to you about their day or an experience. If you're looking to deepen your experiential intimacy , this is an excellent time to book a trip or try out a fun new date spot or activity in your city. Attempt to learn something new about your partner. Plan a trip to a place neither of you has been. It's fun to experience new things for the first time. It will also give you a sense of shared history and experience. Even something as simple as a weekly date night can be a great way to foster increased experiential intimacy in your relationship.
Send each other articles so that you have something fun and new to talk about. This also helps build on intellectual intimacy, and it can give you a much-needed mental break if you have kids or are a caregiver to another loved one. This can also be a chance for you and your partner to talk about what role you want spirituality to play in your lives if you have a family. Discuss your values and beliefs and the role that you think these will play in your life, relationship, and family. Remember that spiritual intimacy doesn't necessarily involve religion.
It often comes down to your shared values and ability to bond over experiences you find awe-inspiring, whether that involves a religious practice, meditation, or love of nature. Whether you've just started dating someone or you've been together for years, intimacy plays a vital role in your relationships. Know that it can take time if your relationship is still new, but it's worth the work that it takes to go through new experiences together. Sexton R. In: Fischer M. eds Intimacy. Springer, Boston, MA.
Sinclair VG, Dowdy SW. Development and Validation of the Emotional Intimacy Scale. Journal of Nursing Measurement. Nabil S. Naya Clinics. van Lankveld J, Jacobs N, Thewissen V, Dewitte M, Verboon P. The associations of intimacy and sexuality in daily life: Temporal dynamics and gender effects within romantic relationships. J Soc Pers Relat. Yoo H, Bartle-Haring S, Day RD, Gangamma R. Couple communication, emotional and sexual intimacy, and relationship satisfaction. J Sex Marital Ther. Robles TF, Slatcher RB, Trombello JM, McGinn MM. Marital quality and health: a meta-analytic review. Psychol Bull. Kardan-Souraki M, Hamzehgardeshi Z, Asadpour I, Mohammadpour RA, Khani S. A Review of Marital Intimacy-Enhancing Interventions among Married Individuals. Glob J Health Sci. Published Aug 1. By Brittany Loggins Brittany is a health and lifestyle writer and former staffer at TODAY on NBC and CBS News. By Brittany is a health and lifestyle writer and former staffer at TODAY on NBC and CBS News.
Brittany Loggins. Learn about our editorial process. Learn more. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Medically reviewed by Ivy Kwong, LMFT. Learn about our Medical Review Board. Table of Contents View All. Table of Contents. Types of Intimacy in Relationships. How to Improve.
10 Levels of Intimacy in Today’s Communication,Actions for this page
WebNov 16, · How to Improve. Intimacy is a feeling of closeness and connection in an interpersonal relationship. It is an essential part of intimate relationships, but it also WebIntimacy in a relationship is a feeling of being close, and emotionally connected and supported. It means being able to share a whole range of thoughts, feelings and WebWith a sample of married couples from the Flourishing Families Project, the authors examined the associations between couple communication, emotional intimacy, sexual WebApr 16, · Physical. Physical intimacy is about touch and closeness between bodies. In a romantic relationship, it might include holding hands, cuddling, kissing, and sex. Your WebNov 1, · Conversely, a lack of intimacy and intimacy-related problems have been found to be associated with poor adaptation to stress, loneliness, psychoactive WebJun 25, · The word “law” may sound a bit strong, but if couples know what to expect when they communicate with their partner, they’re apt to feel safer, which is likely to ... read more
It also helps your mental health , reducing your stress level as your feel-good hormones get a boost from touch like hugs and emotional release like laughter. Kardan-Souraki M, Hamzehgardeshi Z, Asadpour I, Mohammadpour RA, Khani S. Family 10 Consequences of Staying in an Unhappy Marriage By Noah Williams. Share on Pinterest. However, it is interesting to see how this technology, though making it significantly easier to interact with our peers, has also altered how intimate our interactions are with each other. Medically Reviewed By Janet Brito, PhD, LCSW, CST. Posted June 25,
This way, you can facilitate a safe environment where you both feel comfortable sharing your deepest thoughts and desires. Share this article on Share on Facebook. Intimacy and communication Review of Marital Intimacy-Enhancing Interventions among Married Individuals. Contact Us. Maintaining good relationships is…. Read Next.
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